Helping a Shallow Group

From Smallgroup.com

Darryl's Dilemma

Darryl has been leading his small group for several months now. The group members have lots of knowledge about the Bible and many participate in the group discussions. However, most of the discussion, sharing and prayer requests are very superficial and always relate to "someone else". Little is shared about how God’s truth is changing the lives of group members at a personal level. What should Darryl do?

-Some responses from our readers:

It all begins with the leader. The depth of transparency of the group is in direct proportion to the depth of transparency of the leader. That's not to say that the leader is to barge into vulnerable territory the first meeting...but with compassion and sensitivity, set the tone with honesty and humility and in time, as the trust level rises, the group will follow. -Nancy

Don't ask a general question like, "Do you have any prayer requests?" Ask members how the group can be specifically praying for them personally. Ask group members how God has blessed them over the last week, month, or year. Also Darryl should remember that he is the leader and needs to lead by example. The more open he is with the group the more the group will be open. Or it could be that Darryl has a group the isn't very deep spiritually which is a great reason to be in small groups.-David

The way to make it personal is to break down the group's number. Let the group know that prayer is an important spiritual discipline and break down the group into sub-groups of 2 or 3. Ask that each sub-group pray for each other. Make sure the sub-groups are not 1 man and 1 women. If putting men and women together be sensitive to very personal issues. I usually keep it men with men and women with women. The breaking down to smaller groups allows for others to become personally involved with somebody else. -Bruce

Darryl should listen carefully to the person's non-personal prayer request and then ask the person another question, such as..."John, we definitely want to pray for your aunt's discovery of cancer. How can we pray for you specifically as it relates to her health issues?"

I have used this in groups and the person often states they need to resolve a conflict, feel prompted to share Jesus with their aunt, will be visiting soon and needs supernatural love for the person, etc. Another great way to get people to focus on themselves is to clearly ask if anyone has any prayer requests that are not related to another person. BUT, be careful of how often you are this direct. Some folks will begin to think you don't care about their friends and family, and that's probably not true!

-Randall

Taken from www.SmallGroups.com Darryl's Dilemma's archives.