I Woke Up This Morning Afraid

I woke this morning shock afraid
I don’t remember when I laid

Down last night, this feeling
Of a squandered life or reeling
Staggered sense. But when I woke
And greeted day my heart quick spoke
Familiar dread. Unwanted friend
Or hellbent foe happy to lend
His dark opinion to my heart
And give this day its foggy start.

Unclaimed grief at squandered chance
Or haunting insignificance?
Fear for knowing what’s at stake
Or shame for knowing all that’s fake?
Regretting what’s been left undone
Gone forever with no one
To resurrect those hoping dreams
Dead in the past or so it seems.
Alone and scared I try to calm
My heart with some sweet magic balm.

Do I have cause for reasoned panic?
Would some doctor find me manic
Or diagnose its evil twin?
Or find in me some hidden sin.
I’m not the first to suffer torment
Of a dark unsettled moment.
I won’t easily surrender
To this demon charge. I render
To the one who calls my name,
Of burning glory, matchless fame.

My worship lends a feeble part
And joins the song. Soon light will start
To flood the day with something sure
For faithful and bright glory pure
Commanding voice and deeply true
Mere whispers, “go” and off they flew.
Unpromised they be gone forever,
Stubborn sneaky, very clever.
I will again in shadow grope
But he is my cloud burning hope.

I woke up this morning afraid.

07/05